My heart is so heavy. I long for you to be near me. You've left me and I know it's of my own doing. I've been so harsh with you. I've taken you for granted. I've not appreciated your beauty, gentleness, or your love that you so freely offered to me. I turned you away. I didn't see all that you had to offer me. I didn't value you. You were so much more than my wife, my lover, my friend, but I only saw you as a burden to me. I was disgusted by your presence, I admit it. Your love felt like suffocation...like a trick to keep me in your possession. I didn't understand all that you were. I only saw you as a weight that I had to carry, but it was you that carried me. Your love was given over and over until the vessel had run dry. Now I'm alone and yearning for you. I was so foolish to make you run away from me.
I'm asking now that you please forgive me...forgive my ignorance, my fear, my struggle. I know that I am far from the perfect man, but I want to show you I can be the perfect man for you. I want to laugh and cry together, share our deepest and most intimate secrets. I want to be the shoulder where you lie your head and find solace. I want to be yours and yours alone. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. I want to be your protector, your cheerleader, your love again. We belong together. You have no reason to forgive me, but if you did I would be eternally grateful.
Art: 'The Other Side' by Dean Cornwell (1918)
My love you are not solely to blame. I too did not appreciate all that you had to offer. I wanted to prove my worth and so I worked tirelessly doing for you and coddled you like a child. I was afraid of losing you. I wanted you to know how much I loved you, and in doing so I made you feel like something was wrong. I pushed you away because I was certain it was over. I was certain you would abandon me. I ran away from you because I was ashamed. I just knew you would be happier with someone else.
I'm asking you to forgive me...forgive my ignorance, my fear, my struggle. I know that I am far from the perfect woman, but I want you to see that I can be the perfect woman for you. I too want to laugh and cry together, share our deepest and most intimate secrets. I want to be a presence for you when you need to find solace. I want to be yours and yours alone. I need you just as you need me, too. We do belong together. I forgive you, completely and I ask that you forgive me, too. I am eternally grateful that you are still a part of our lives. I'm coming home.