Dating online can be successful, but it takes extraordinary measures to ensure it goes well. Your mental health must be in good working order for starters. I have a very good friend who met someone online, but she approached online dating as entertainment instead of putting all her emotional energy into the search. She had a formula that worked for her so she didn't get emotionally attached, but she still did have a lot of unpleasant encounters as well.
She is in a happy relationship now with someone she met online, but she didn't have any expectations. Her formula was to get to know someone through texting and eventually a phone call to better understand their intentions. Only when she was comfortable with their interactions would she agree to meet. There were some men that she met that tried to rush her. She knew that they weren't thinking clearly, and quickly put them in the infamous friend zone where she started with everyone. Instead of allowing lust to control her thoughts, she tried to see if she was genuinely attracted to her potential partner first. Her method was effective because she is logical and her mental health is impeccable. It doesn't work for everyone. I, myself, do not enjoy online dating. I have an active imagination and can create some pretty wild scenarios in my head, but this fantasy-thinking gets me into trouble. I had to stop. I would rather meet someone in person out doing something I love where I'm already producing happy chemicals, than live in a fantasy world. There are pros and cons to online dating, and dating people you meet out as well. If I could give anyone one piece of solid dating advice it would be, just get out and live. Go dancing, sing, help people in need. But most of all don't take life so seriously. Since writing this blog (today is January 16, 2024) I have taken another shot at online dating with a different perspective. It occurred to me that when your calendar is full of responsibility and obligations, a non-traditional approach to meeting people is sometimes warranted. I jumped on a different dating app, Hinge. I'd used it before in passing when I wasn't really ready to meet anyone. I was pleasantly surprised by the way this app works. The company states that "Hinge is built on the belief that anyone looking for love should be able to find it. It’s also built on an acclaimed Nobel-Prize-winning algorithm, so we can succeed in getting you out on promising dates, not keeping you on the app." So far in my experience his has been an accurate statement. The first thing I liked about this app is the ability to verify your account. I had one person try to convince me to give him my phone number right away, that is a glaring red flag you're dealing with a scammer. I asked him to verify his account and he skirted my request, so I just ignored him. His account was deleted pretty quickly from the app and the company even notified me of the potential for him to have been a fraud. It was a refreshing change from other dating apps that I've tried. I feel like the "matches" that it produced were quality and more-closely aligned with me. I've taken a "friendship-first" approach and so far the results have been positive.
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